Enlightenment isn’t Natural

A yoga teacher a little older and much more versed in yogic philosophy than me once said: 

“Yoga isn’t natural”. 

“Nothing that we do in Ashtanga is natural. It’s not natural to contort ourselves into poses or stand on one’s head.” As the teacher explained, they suddenly made sense.

We don’t naturally become enlightened. We don’t naturally find peace. Yoga is a practice, a discipline, and discipline naturally spikes unease.

What is natural? Disease. Disaster. Chaos and conflict. It takes effort and strategy to combat such turmoil. A certain level of consciousness is required to relent us of our woes and woe was me to think that yoga is a thing humans do naturally. 

Yesterday in a meeting about the freedom of sobriety, the leader mentioned that we alcoholics drink as our natural state. Before finding this program of recovery, turning to drugs and booze was the most natural thing we would do. Because we had no tools. And before we knew about the steps, we used. We’re all creatures of habit. And poor habits create humans deprived of a functional format.

Too add to the meeting leader’s comment, I shared what my teacher once shared with me: “Hi I’m Jenny. I’m an alcoholic, an addict, and a yoga teacher. I once was told by an experienced teacher that yoga isn’t natural.” I paused and watched a dozen eyes roll towards the stainless glass facade before I continued.

“Yoga isn’t natural just like a spiritual awakening isn’t natural. You don’t naturally become enlightened.” The wandering eyes returned back to me.

“Like mentioned in an earlier share, our natural state is to drink. I agree. It’s also our natural state to obsess and get anxious and go after what we want without considering the consequences. This is our reptilian brain at work. But we’re not monkeys. We’re not drinking and eating and fucking when we want. We’ve evolved.” A roar of laughter rose within the chapel. I waited for the group to calm as I contemplated saying “fucking” in a church. Not as an adjective to stress a point, but in the hedonistic fornication the church declares as sin.

“It’s natural to be impulsive and impatient and to act without thinking. But we have grown to be sophisticated and philosophical and have created a society in which there are rules and regulations. Without them, we would be driving without street lights to keep us safe and in a constant state of chaos. That’s what being in active addiction is like. Chaotic. But to find true freedom, we must abide by a format that keeps us mentally, physically and spiritually fit.”

Yoga and enlightenment and sobriety is not natural. Even this meeting was planned, in a church, which was designed and constructed by human beings. We didn’t wander in a field to talk about our problems, we took the conscious effort to commune together at a particular time.

What is natural is wild. Untamed and unpredictable. When I’m using and drinking, my mind is boundless which welcomes angst and causes confusion. I’m still young a volatile in my sobriety much like I am young and volatile in the broad scope of my life. But when I’m clear, I can plan and I can pray for God to lead the way. I don’t want to know everything about my future - mystery keeps things interesting. But there’s a peace in knowing that I won’t waste another dime on drugs and drinking. There’s freedom in discipline because austerity grants me opportunities. Staying high left me floating, like a leaf splintered from the Giving Tree. 

No one wanders into spiritual awakening. No drug can catapult someone into higher thinking. We may have an ephemeral experience, but it’s what we do with such substance-induced insight that promotes substantial change. True enlightenment takes effort. It takes risks in resisting the people and things that keep us stuck, and those kinds of risks set us free. 

We’re not monkeys anymore.

With that, I’ll pass.”